Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Silicone Silliness

Ok, so far so good. The silicone bra that Maezie ingested doesn't seem to be affecting her in any way, so far. No bad symptoms, no vomiting, diarrhea, or gastrointestinal distress .... But I bet I could give Larry the Cable Guy a run for his money as far as jokes about "edible underwear" go, huh??

I think we're going to be ok. I haven't had to change a poopy diaper yet, but I'll let y'all know when I do. I know you're just DYING to know.

I thought of some other things I have seen Maezie eat and thought I would list them for everyone's entertainment. Especially Shanna, who believes my child's eating antics are the makings of a sitcom. I bet my panic attacks everytime Maezie eats something she shouldn't would add some spice to the sitcom, for sure.

Cat food. Maezie eats cat food all the time. I ALWAYS have to clean up the cat food she has spilled and pull pieces of out her mouth. It totally grosses me out if the kitchen gate (we have a baby gate up blocking the kitchen at all times) gets left open and Maezie gets in there and I come up front from using the bathroom or something, to find her chowing down on the Iams with a guilty look on her face.

Diapers. Usually just the new, clean ones. But if one of us less-than-intelligent parents leaves a changed diaper balled up on the ground while changing the remainder of the child's clothes and it gets forgotten .... *shudder* ... Yes, imagine the worst. It happened once. It really honestly wasn't my fault that time, but Maezie has started to eat wet diapers on my watch.

Paper. Any kind of paper, including napkins and paper towels and kleenexes. She just sticks a wad in her mouth and bites it off like it's beef jerky or something. Gross.

I know I already mentioned sidewalk chalk. But seriously, this child LOVES sidewalk chalk. There have been a few times you could have made a video entitled "Maezie and the Technicolor Dream Poop" and posted it on youtube. Every time we go outside, I have to hide the chalk from her. Matt ran over a piece of chalk in the driveway, so it was just a smushed little pile of chalk. Maezie toddled right over there and LAID DOWN in the driveway to eat it. *sigh*

If this is genetic, she got it from Matt's side. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

But, seriously, praise God that she didn't get violently ill from eating my silicone sticky bra.

I think I might invest in a football helmet with mouthguard for her. Hopefully it will keep her mouth busy and she won't be able to eat any other weird things!!!


Stacie said...

Thanks for making me laugh Laura... but in all honesty, think of what we ate as children... me in particular... Hate to say it, but she got it from your side of the family.

Jenn said...

Elizabeth is matching her (outside the diaper part). She eats the dog kibble all the time. Paper, oh yeah, always chewing on that. Cardboard...yummo. She did try to eat the chalk at a friend's house the other day. She tries to eat the bird poop off the septic tank cover and the discarded bird seed under the feeder. She licks the sand outside. Also always has a rock in her mouth (those big smooth river rock kinds). Of course dirt. And the weirdest is she'll lay on her belly to lick the nails on the deck.

I'm with you on who gets the blame!