Mmmm ... this was a good one. Not that they're not normally good, but this one struck a chord with me, so I decided to blog my notes and share with anyone who'll read it.
Joshua 22:5 - "But take careful heed to do the commandment and the laws which Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you, to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to keep His commandments, to hold fast to Him, and to serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul."
"careful" here means to be on your guard, to be on constant vigilance ... to guard yourself from SIN.
1. Guard yourself from sin by LIVING the Word of God.
Walk in HIS ways, keep HIS commandments. Knowing the Scriptures simply isn't good enough. You can have the entire Bible memorized, and still not be actually LIVING the Word of God. Jesus reserved His harshest judgment for the Pharisees, those who knew and could recite the Scriptures, and yet denied Him by their lifestyles. He called them hypocrites! God wants us to LIVE His Word in our everyday lives. ... James 1:22 - Be DOERS of the Word, not hearers only!! Even very vast Bible knowledge doesn't get you anywhere unless you live it!
2. Guard yourself from sin by LOVING God.
Matt. 22:36, Deut 6:5 - The greatest command is to LOVE God. ... God used the word "adultery" to describe what the Israelites did when they failed to love Him and be devoted to Him. You can't just go through the motions of being a Christian. You can't just follow a list of rules. Rules are easy to break, because our nature is to not like having to follow rules. But when you LOVE someone, you have no problem following the "rules". I stay pure and faithful to my husband. I don't do it because there is a rule that says I have to, I do it because I LOVE him and don't want to hurt him. It should be the same with God. We should do as Genesis 2:24 says, and "cleave" to Him, forsaking everything else. Love (not rules!) compels us to behave in a way that GUARDS our relationship. Love is real motivation!
3. Guard yourself from sin by SERVING God.
And "serving" doesn't mean like a person who is paid a wage, like a maid or butler. Serve here is to wholeheartedly give of yourself, putting yourself at the mercy of the one you serve. As in a slave's service to his master. Hebrews 11:23-26 - Moses could have chosen to enjoy all the fleeting pleasures of this world and could have just been the Pharoah's daughter's son. Instead he chose to be persecuted and be counted among the slaves. John 8:34 - Sin is fun, but don't become a slave to it!! Unleash yourself from sin and become a slave of Christ, give up the FLEETING pleasures of your sin that you get from this earth, and be devoted to Christ. Store up treasures in Heaven! You can avoid giving in to the temptations of fleeting earthly pleasures by looking forward to the REWARD in Heaven.
Psalm 16:11 - The pleasures God gives last FOREVER.
You must pursue God more than anything else in your life. Don't be an idolator.
1 Cor. 6:9-11 - "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God."
Times of trouble, pain, and hardship often push us closer to the Lord. So very often, the time that you most have to watch out for the snares of sin is in times of peace. Guard yourself against sin by LIVING the Word of God, by LOVING God, and by SERVING God.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Going Away for Awhile
My house is a wreck. Laundry, dishes, toys ... these things are piled everywhere. SO ... I'm boycotting my computer for awhile until it's all cleaned up. See you in a day or two!! :)
Saturday, May 23, 2009
RAIN!
Here in Farmington, we don't get much rain. So when it comes, I try to take advantage of it. I let Kyleigh out to play in it with the umbrella. Then our neighbor, Samantha, came over to play too. The girls had a lot of fun splashing around in the puddles. I stood in the street and took pictures. Anytime a car came, we'd all yell "Here comes a car!" and race to the sidewalk to be safe. Once it passed the girls would go back to splashing in puddles. Pretty cute. I took a bazillion photos, but have narrowed it down to a few super cute ones.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Back to Bible Times
I'm excited for today's blog installment on parenting issues. Not sure it will spark NEARLY the controversy the last one did, but I sure liked having 9 comments on a single post. :)
So, the longer I'm a parent, the more my tastes and desires and goals are changing. If you had told me even just 6 years ago that today I would the stay-at-home-Mom of two girls, and was planning on homeschooling, not vaccinating, using natural remedies for illnesses, co-sleeping, having 4 kids, and dabbling in photography and organic vegetable gardening ... I would have LAUGHED IN YOUR FACE. So, let this be a lesson to the whole 5 of you who will read it -- never say never!
Here's what we're trying to do, as much as possible, and that is ... get back to the way things were when God CREATED us. I try to think how things must have been back then, how families worked, what they ate, how they slept, what they drank, what they would have done when they were sick ... and that is what we're trying to mold our family after.
For instance, they used herbs, plants, and such for dyes, flavors, and medicines. So - we have cut artificial food dyes, preservatives, and flavors out of our diets (as much as possible anyway). That means, specifically : no candy, no "boxes" of food like macaroni and cheese, and no snacky foods unless they're organic. We buy organic crackers, cookies, and popcorn so they have no artifical anything.
Back in Bible Times, they ate a lot of what they could gather themselves. Grains, nuts, berries, and fruits and veggies. We try to eat like that, as much as possible.
There weren't chemicals and pesticides back then, so about 75-90% of everything we eat is organic these days. No genetically modified, irradiated, nutritionally-lacking foods where all the good stuff has been bleached out and all the bad stuff has been added back in to make it taste good. We use evaporated cane sugar, not white sugar, and we use honey instead of syrup. We buy mostly all organic fruits and veggies, even when they're canned or frozen. Especially corn. ALL corn is GMO unless it says organic, folks!! Genetically modified corn is BAD BAD BAD for you, people!!! Just fyi.
Another thought on chemicals - did you know that the vast majority of chemicals in your tap water AREN'T filtered out before you drink it? Flouride, chlorine, and other things are in your water. Flouride is just bad for you, simple as that. Do your research folks - it should have never been put in our water system to be ingested. It should only be applied topically to your teeth. And chlorine, even the "small" amounts in your tap water, has been shown to KILL bacteria in your body - not the bad guys either, the FLORA - the GOOD bacteria! - that line your intestinal walls and are responsible for 80% of your body's immune system function. Yeah, seriously. And as if that wasn't bad enough, water treatment plants don't filter out HORMONES in water. Get ready to be grossed out! There's bazillions of women on birth control pills (none for me thanks, they make me CRAZY!). Very little of the hormones in the pill are actually absorbed by the body, and the rest is flushed out during urination. That's why the doses are so high in the pills, compared to something like the patch or the shot. Anywho, those hormones are saturating our water systems, and the water treatment plants do NOTHING to filter them out. So, get a nice big glass of estrogen next time you fill up your glass at the sink!! Here's just one piece of research about the study of fish living in streams near water-treatment plants (boy fish now have female parts and eggs!). http://www.garynull.com/Documents/erf/fish_sex_hormones.htm (This is also my own personal theory on why little girls are going through puberty so early these days - average age is NINE!! - and why the amount of people "coming out of the closet" has skyrocketed in the last decade or so, but that's just me.) So we drink spring water only. And just a tip, that "purified drinking water" you're paying for is really just tap water that has been through one extra filtration cycle. Aquafina, Dasani, etc. Only spring water or artesian well water actually come from sources that haven't been contaminated (as badly) by industrialization.
Meat sources back in Bible Times were mainly from FISH. So we try and eat a lot of that. It's insanely good for you, and both my girls like to eat it because they've been eating it since they were wee ickle ones. (Did I say that right, Niecey?) On top of that, animals weren't kept in pens where they tripped over eachother or had no room to run or stood around their whole lives in their own waste or were fed unnatural food sources (such as cows eating corn/grain instead of grass like God intended) ... so we try to only eat organic, free-range meats, like organic free-roaming grass-fed beef, and cage-free-hen eggs too. (I will make a confession here and say that we do have a bag of chicken nuggets in the freezer for use in emergencies. Sometimes it's quick and easy when there's nothing else in the house.) We drink organic milk only. We would drink raw milk if there were a herd-share program near our house. The closest one is about 1.5 hours away, and driving that far to get a gallon of milk once a week is just silly. So, bummer.
Things in a typical American home with kids that you won't find here :
hot dogs ... popsicles ... sugary cereal (ok there is a box of Cap'n Crunch, but it's Matt's and the rest of us don't eat it!) ... candy ... Spaghettio's ... white bread ... fruit snacks (like the Kellogg's brand and such) ... refined sugar ... Velveeta ... chips (unless they're organic) ... sugary fruit juices (we only use 100% juice ones) ... most other processed foods ... sodas/gatorade/CapriSun (BUT I will confess to having Dr Pepper in my house, for myself. It's my one vice, so back off, ok people?? Hee hee!)
Now of course, we're not perfect, and there are definitely times where we resort to quick easy fixes and fast food. There's times where we splurge on the sugary stuff or let Kyleigh enjoy a piece of candy that's loaded with sugar and artificial food dyes. But we TRY to be organic, raw, and natural whenever possible.
On to NON-food topics : We don't vaccinate our kids. We probably will get them a few vaccines, when they're older, say like 4 years old or so? Maybe even as early as 3. But we're still discussing it. We don't go to the doctor for every little thing. In fact, Maezie has only been to the doctor ONCE in her entire life. Kyleigh has only been twice since she turned a year old, and she's nearly three. (Three times if you count her trip to the ER when she had a nasty stomach virus and had to get IV fluids for dehydration.) We aren't scared of doctors and don't think they're bad, but doctors push drugs and surgery as the ONLY options for healthcare solutions. We FIRMLY believe that God made this world and He made the stuff in it to work WITH our bodies. So we use herbs, supplements, and natural cures whenever possible. Usually, to great success. There are certainly times where modern medicine intervention is needed, and we aren't going to be stupid when it comes to healthcare. :) We grow an organic vegetable garden. We compost. We use apple cider vinegar (both topically and ingested) to cure a vast array of illnesses. We are going to homeschool our kiddos. We aren't going to let our kids watch things like Hannah Montana and other teenagerish shows that promote promiscuity, parental stupidity, and rebellious defiance. (Kids have to deal with those emotions anyway, why let them watch shows that make it worse??) We are going to TRY TRY TRY to be open-minded with our kids when they are teenagers. Teens need a way to express themselves, a way to differentiate themselves from their parents. If Kyleigh tells us someday that she wants a purple mohawk, we're going to cry at the loss of her pretty golden curls, but try to oblige her. In my experience, squashing a child's expression puts them on the fast track to rebellion once they're out of your house. Now that's expression within reasonable limits, of course. Like wearing a thong bikini will NOT be an ok form of expression, and neither will pole-dancing, but odd hairdos, weird clothing (as long as it's modest), and art are great ways for a kid to express themselves without getting into trouble. ... But, as mentioned earlier, we do discipline our children. Families in Bible Times had GREAT RESPECT for elders, adults in general, and especially their fathers. We want our children to say "yes ma'am" and "no sir" and be polite and kind to strangers, and respectful to adults, especially us!! These are family values found in the Bible, and we want to emulate them. Teach our children to "honor their father and mother" as the Bible says. Try, I said, hee hee!
We co-sleep. In other words, our babies sleep in our bed with us, or at the very least, in a bassinet/playpen right next to our bed, for their first year, or thereabouts. I nurse our babies a long time. Nursed Ky to 17 months, planning on going for at least 18 with Maezie. We kiss and love and hug and massage our babies. I still get up twice at night when my nearly 13-month-old cries for me from her crib in her room, and nurse her overnight too. If Kyleigh cries at night, we still go into her room to console her. We think our kids should be dependent on us for comfort, love, security, and reassurance. Although there are times that we have resorted to the "cry it out" method, for the most part, we are comforters. Back in Bible Times, most families all shared one giant room to sleep in. They weren't all separated.
I "wear" our babies. I wish I had done this more with Kyleigh, but I didn't know about my precious SleepyWrap then. (http://www.sleepywrap.com) They don't go in the carseat carrier thing unless we're eating at a restaurant or something, and mostly, not even then. Maezie was in the Wrap while I cooked, cleaned, shopped, went to the bathroom, hiked -- you name it. Do the research, baby-wearing is good for your kids! I know back in Bible Times they had carriers kind of like the Native Americans had papoose sacks/backpacks/whatever they were.
There are some more things that we haven't started doing yet that I would LIKE to be doing. One of those is sewing. I'd like to be able to sew the girls some clothes and teach them how to sew. I'd also like to do some studying/schooling on herbs and homeopathy, and then grow an herb garden in our backyard and use that for healing and such. I suppose that means that someday I'll be the funny old lady who lives in a house covered with plants, who makes her own clothes, is a vegetarian (Matt and I have discussed becoming vegetarians!) and grows her own food and herbs. Hopefully I wouldn't smell like patchouli inscense though. :) But yeah, in some respects, I guess we're hippies!!!
In addition to everything above, there is one more thing - we are so selfish these days. So closed-off from everyone around us. We each have our own home, and sometimes go days or weeks without talking to our neighbors. Whole families used to live together back in Bible Times. If a family member got sick, there were others there to help with the cooking and cleaning and child-rearing. Matt and I keep wanting to win the lottery so we can buy a nice big plot of land and build all our family members and close friends a house on the land, with a big community center in the middle. We'd have a big kitchen and gym area, so that the families could play together, cook together, and eat together. There would always be help close by if it was needed, and there would always be kids around for our kids to play with. Since we haven't won the lottery yet, we're trying to open up to those around us, inviting friends and neighbors over as often as possible, and just generally enjoying fellowship. We try to cook meals for sick friends, offer to babysit when friends need help, and loan out our stuff if someone's in need. Naturally, we're just starting this and aren't always perfect at it. Society teaches us to say, "Mine, mine, mine!" and so it's hard to overcome that and try to think about how you can bless OTHERS with what you have, but we're TRYING. Hee hee, we're not succeeding all the time by any means. Hopefully by the time we're 80 we'll get it figured out. :)
We are Christians, saved by grace and not legalistic works, and we owe HIM everything. We believe that God's Way is BEST! This is why we are trying, as much as possible, to get back to the way things were when He made humans ... back to Bible Times.
So, the longer I'm a parent, the more my tastes and desires and goals are changing. If you had told me even just 6 years ago that today I would the stay-at-home-Mom of two girls, and was planning on homeschooling, not vaccinating, using natural remedies for illnesses, co-sleeping, having 4 kids, and dabbling in photography and organic vegetable gardening ... I would have LAUGHED IN YOUR FACE. So, let this be a lesson to the whole 5 of you who will read it -- never say never!
Here's what we're trying to do, as much as possible, and that is ... get back to the way things were when God CREATED us. I try to think how things must have been back then, how families worked, what they ate, how they slept, what they drank, what they would have done when they were sick ... and that is what we're trying to mold our family after.
For instance, they used herbs, plants, and such for dyes, flavors, and medicines. So - we have cut artificial food dyes, preservatives, and flavors out of our diets (as much as possible anyway). That means, specifically : no candy, no "boxes" of food like macaroni and cheese, and no snacky foods unless they're organic. We buy organic crackers, cookies, and popcorn so they have no artifical anything.
Back in Bible Times, they ate a lot of what they could gather themselves. Grains, nuts, berries, and fruits and veggies. We try to eat like that, as much as possible.
There weren't chemicals and pesticides back then, so about 75-90% of everything we eat is organic these days. No genetically modified, irradiated, nutritionally-lacking foods where all the good stuff has been bleached out and all the bad stuff has been added back in to make it taste good. We use evaporated cane sugar, not white sugar, and we use honey instead of syrup. We buy mostly all organic fruits and veggies, even when they're canned or frozen. Especially corn. ALL corn is GMO unless it says organic, folks!! Genetically modified corn is BAD BAD BAD for you, people!!! Just fyi.
Another thought on chemicals - did you know that the vast majority of chemicals in your tap water AREN'T filtered out before you drink it? Flouride, chlorine, and other things are in your water. Flouride is just bad for you, simple as that. Do your research folks - it should have never been put in our water system to be ingested. It should only be applied topically to your teeth. And chlorine, even the "small" amounts in your tap water, has been shown to KILL bacteria in your body - not the bad guys either, the FLORA - the GOOD bacteria! - that line your intestinal walls and are responsible for 80% of your body's immune system function. Yeah, seriously. And as if that wasn't bad enough, water treatment plants don't filter out HORMONES in water. Get ready to be grossed out! There's bazillions of women on birth control pills (none for me thanks, they make me CRAZY!). Very little of the hormones in the pill are actually absorbed by the body, and the rest is flushed out during urination. That's why the doses are so high in the pills, compared to something like the patch or the shot. Anywho, those hormones are saturating our water systems, and the water treatment plants do NOTHING to filter them out. So, get a nice big glass of estrogen next time you fill up your glass at the sink!! Here's just one piece of research about the study of fish living in streams near water-treatment plants (boy fish now have female parts and eggs!). http://www.garynull.com/Documents/erf/fish_sex_hormones.htm (This is also my own personal theory on why little girls are going through puberty so early these days - average age is NINE!! - and why the amount of people "coming out of the closet" has skyrocketed in the last decade or so, but that's just me.) So we drink spring water only. And just a tip, that "purified drinking water" you're paying for is really just tap water that has been through one extra filtration cycle. Aquafina, Dasani, etc. Only spring water or artesian well water actually come from sources that haven't been contaminated (as badly) by industrialization.
Meat sources back in Bible Times were mainly from FISH. So we try and eat a lot of that. It's insanely good for you, and both my girls like to eat it because they've been eating it since they were wee ickle ones. (Did I say that right, Niecey?) On top of that, animals weren't kept in pens where they tripped over eachother or had no room to run or stood around their whole lives in their own waste or were fed unnatural food sources (such as cows eating corn/grain instead of grass like God intended) ... so we try to only eat organic, free-range meats, like organic free-roaming grass-fed beef, and cage-free-hen eggs too. (I will make a confession here and say that we do have a bag of chicken nuggets in the freezer for use in emergencies. Sometimes it's quick and easy when there's nothing else in the house.) We drink organic milk only. We would drink raw milk if there were a herd-share program near our house. The closest one is about 1.5 hours away, and driving that far to get a gallon of milk once a week is just silly. So, bummer.
Things in a typical American home with kids that you won't find here :
hot dogs ... popsicles ... sugary cereal (ok there is a box of Cap'n Crunch, but it's Matt's and the rest of us don't eat it!) ... candy ... Spaghettio's ... white bread ... fruit snacks (like the Kellogg's brand and such) ... refined sugar ... Velveeta ... chips (unless they're organic) ... sugary fruit juices (we only use 100% juice ones) ... most other processed foods ... sodas/gatorade/CapriSun (BUT I will confess to having Dr Pepper in my house, for myself. It's my one vice, so back off, ok people?? Hee hee!)
Now of course, we're not perfect, and there are definitely times where we resort to quick easy fixes and fast food. There's times where we splurge on the sugary stuff or let Kyleigh enjoy a piece of candy that's loaded with sugar and artificial food dyes. But we TRY to be organic, raw, and natural whenever possible.
On to NON-food topics : We don't vaccinate our kids. We probably will get them a few vaccines, when they're older, say like 4 years old or so? Maybe even as early as 3. But we're still discussing it. We don't go to the doctor for every little thing. In fact, Maezie has only been to the doctor ONCE in her entire life. Kyleigh has only been twice since she turned a year old, and she's nearly three. (Three times if you count her trip to the ER when she had a nasty stomach virus and had to get IV fluids for dehydration.) We aren't scared of doctors and don't think they're bad, but doctors push drugs and surgery as the ONLY options for healthcare solutions. We FIRMLY believe that God made this world and He made the stuff in it to work WITH our bodies. So we use herbs, supplements, and natural cures whenever possible. Usually, to great success. There are certainly times where modern medicine intervention is needed, and we aren't going to be stupid when it comes to healthcare. :) We grow an organic vegetable garden. We compost. We use apple cider vinegar (both topically and ingested) to cure a vast array of illnesses. We are going to homeschool our kiddos. We aren't going to let our kids watch things like Hannah Montana and other teenagerish shows that promote promiscuity, parental stupidity, and rebellious defiance. (Kids have to deal with those emotions anyway, why let them watch shows that make it worse??) We are going to TRY TRY TRY to be open-minded with our kids when they are teenagers. Teens need a way to express themselves, a way to differentiate themselves from their parents. If Kyleigh tells us someday that she wants a purple mohawk, we're going to cry at the loss of her pretty golden curls, but try to oblige her. In my experience, squashing a child's expression puts them on the fast track to rebellion once they're out of your house. Now that's expression within reasonable limits, of course. Like wearing a thong bikini will NOT be an ok form of expression, and neither will pole-dancing, but odd hairdos, weird clothing (as long as it's modest), and art are great ways for a kid to express themselves without getting into trouble. ... But, as mentioned earlier, we do discipline our children. Families in Bible Times had GREAT RESPECT for elders, adults in general, and especially their fathers. We want our children to say "yes ma'am" and "no sir" and be polite and kind to strangers, and respectful to adults, especially us!! These are family values found in the Bible, and we want to emulate them. Teach our children to "honor their father and mother" as the Bible says. Try, I said, hee hee!
We co-sleep. In other words, our babies sleep in our bed with us, or at the very least, in a bassinet/playpen right next to our bed, for their first year, or thereabouts. I nurse our babies a long time. Nursed Ky to 17 months, planning on going for at least 18 with Maezie. We kiss and love and hug and massage our babies. I still get up twice at night when my nearly 13-month-old cries for me from her crib in her room, and nurse her overnight too. If Kyleigh cries at night, we still go into her room to console her. We think our kids should be dependent on us for comfort, love, security, and reassurance. Although there are times that we have resorted to the "cry it out" method, for the most part, we are comforters. Back in Bible Times, most families all shared one giant room to sleep in. They weren't all separated.
I "wear" our babies. I wish I had done this more with Kyleigh, but I didn't know about my precious SleepyWrap then. (http://www.sleepywrap.com) They don't go in the carseat carrier thing unless we're eating at a restaurant or something, and mostly, not even then. Maezie was in the Wrap while I cooked, cleaned, shopped, went to the bathroom, hiked -- you name it. Do the research, baby-wearing is good for your kids! I know back in Bible Times they had carriers kind of like the Native Americans had papoose sacks/backpacks/whatever they were.
There are some more things that we haven't started doing yet that I would LIKE to be doing. One of those is sewing. I'd like to be able to sew the girls some clothes and teach them how to sew. I'd also like to do some studying/schooling on herbs and homeopathy, and then grow an herb garden in our backyard and use that for healing and such. I suppose that means that someday I'll be the funny old lady who lives in a house covered with plants, who makes her own clothes, is a vegetarian (Matt and I have discussed becoming vegetarians!) and grows her own food and herbs. Hopefully I wouldn't smell like patchouli inscense though. :) But yeah, in some respects, I guess we're hippies!!!
In addition to everything above, there is one more thing - we are so selfish these days. So closed-off from everyone around us. We each have our own home, and sometimes go days or weeks without talking to our neighbors. Whole families used to live together back in Bible Times. If a family member got sick, there were others there to help with the cooking and cleaning and child-rearing. Matt and I keep wanting to win the lottery so we can buy a nice big plot of land and build all our family members and close friends a house on the land, with a big community center in the middle. We'd have a big kitchen and gym area, so that the families could play together, cook together, and eat together. There would always be help close by if it was needed, and there would always be kids around for our kids to play with. Since we haven't won the lottery yet, we're trying to open up to those around us, inviting friends and neighbors over as often as possible, and just generally enjoying fellowship. We try to cook meals for sick friends, offer to babysit when friends need help, and loan out our stuff if someone's in need. Naturally, we're just starting this and aren't always perfect at it. Society teaches us to say, "Mine, mine, mine!" and so it's hard to overcome that and try to think about how you can bless OTHERS with what you have, but we're TRYING. Hee hee, we're not succeeding all the time by any means. Hopefully by the time we're 80 we'll get it figured out. :)
We are Christians, saved by grace and not legalistic works, and we owe HIM everything. We believe that God's Way is BEST! This is why we are trying, as much as possible, to get back to the way things were when He made humans ... back to Bible Times.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Discipline
Our approach on disciplining our children is this : we do use time outs and spankings with Kyleigh, in addition to positive discipline. Proverbs 13:24 - "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly." Kyleigh is a VERY strong-willed child. If we didn't use spankings or time-outs with her, she would never listen, never learn respect, never learn obedience. I'm rather inclined to think that Maezie won't be that hard. She's much more sensitive. While she certainly has her own ideas about things, she's much more easygoing and not nearly so strong-willed. Right now, all I have to do is just raise my voice sharply and say "No!" when she's touching something she shouldn't, and her little bottom lip comes out and she begins to cry. Even at this age, I could say "No!" to Kyleigh until I was blue in the face, and nothing would have happened. (Hah! And now, she just looks at me blankly and thoroughly ignores me unless she knows that something is coming to back up that "no!" - she's a smart cookie!!!)
I know that I personally have babysat for families that have children that have obviously not been disciplined. Both my husband and I think it's incredibly important to discipline our kids - BECAUSE we love them. The families I saw with disobedient kids were pretty disfunctional. The kids don't have respect for ANYONE. I don't think it's EVER ok for a child to hit their parent, or vice versa for that matter. (Unless for spankings of course - but spankings should eb done when the anger has cooled and should be done in a consistent manner.) The disobedient and thoroughly disresepctful children then turn into disrespectful teenagers, who think they are entitled to whatever they want and can treat anyone in whatever way they want. It might be easier as a parent to let your young child run all over you instead of putting your foot down and disciplining - but it makes the most difference to the CHILD later on in life.
My deep thought for the day : I don't think you can ever truly learn humility without being disciplined and learning to respect others first.
Kyleigh lately is getting more angry and not knowing how to act out. I really feel like we have hit the emotional part of the terrible 2's finally. I'm going to start working harder with her on calming down and "talking nice" and such. She's been flat-out refusing to do what we're telling her to lately. She's nearly 3. She's old enough to know right from wrong, and I'm noticing that we aren't discipling her ENOUGH as her tantrums are increasing both in frequency and size. We were just letting things go, ignoring bad behavior because we were still in that "she's really too young to know she's doing something wrong" phase - but that was just OUR minds, not HERS! Haha! She's incredibly intelligent and she's learned how to push our buttons, and that when one parent is upset with her or she's in trouble, she can run to the other parent for comfort. We've been realizing this lately, and are coming together more on what's going on. For instance, tonight Kyleigh climbed on our dresser in our bedroom and was playing with Matt's guitar. He asked her to get down. She just looked at him. Then he crossed the room so that he could physically MAKE her get down, and just before he got there, she jumped down and ran in here to me crying. "I need a hug Mommy!" I refused to give her one because she was in trouble. Matt and I have decided that when she's in trouble with one parent, that parent needs to be the one to discipline, hug, and explain what's going on and why we have rules and what rules have been broken. No getting comfort from the other parent. That undermines one parent's authority and sets the stage for the "good parent/bad parent" fiasco.
Here are some things I've seen kids around me (either than I've babysat or just watched grow up) do that I will NEVER let my children do. (And if my kids DO attempt these behaviors, you'd better believe they're going to be in BIG trouble!)
1. Blatanly roll their eyes at another adult (besides parents - HAH! I expect them to do that to me! I know I did it a lot to my parents - sorry Mom and Dad!)
2. Hit/kick a parent/caregiver
3. Say something incredibly rude as a guest in someone's home : "You have a really ugly house" or something like that. (Obviously, you can't expect verbal perfection out of super young kiddos, but out of older ones, I mean!)
4. Being rude and disrespectful to adults in general
5. Be defiantly disobedient, especially to adults besides parents
For instance, the 5 year old I babysat once. Me : "Cooper, please eat just ONE bite of your corn, and then you can get down from the table." Cooper : "No. I don't want to eat it, so I don't have to." Me : "I'm sorry Cooper, those are my rules. You need to eat just ONE bite of a vegetable for dinner. All you have to do is try it once. If you don't like it, you don't have to eat any more." Cooper : "NO!" And then he loaded his spoon with corn, and LAUNCHED the whole thing at my face. Then he threw himself on the floor in a tantrum, and when I went to pick him up from his tantrum, he punched me in the face repeatedly and kicked me in the stomach until I literally faced him away from me so he couldn't reach me anymore. I was SHOCKED!!! So I put him in time-out and called the parents. The Dad told me to just let him out of time-out, that his behavior is a reaction to all the stress he's been under lately, and not to punish him. .... Ummm, EXCUSE ME??!?! Yeah, those parents paid me $100 for 7.5 hours of babysitting, and I was never called back. Not that I'd ever willingly GO back either. I guarantee you though, without radical intervention, that boy is going to be a teenager that gets whatever he wants, when he wants it. The type that has no respect for teachers, policemen, or authority figures in general. The type that feels he can force teenage girls to give him what he wants, because he has always been his own authority. It might seem harmless enough at age 5. But what about when he's 15 and weighs 150 pounds and can literally break his mother's bones when he feels like punching her in the face?? Not so harmless then.
And just for your knowledge - when I was called to babysit Cooper and his sister at that time, their mom was in the hospital having baby #3. I was the only person crazy enough to accept their offer. I had never sat for them before, and I was the only person left on our church roster babysitter list. I don't know about any of YOU - but I would NEVER leave Ky and Maezie with a complete stranger (even one who went to my church and came highly recommended, as I was!) while I was in the hospital having another baby. ... So yeah, that just gives you an idea of how bad these kids were. His sister was only about 18 months old, not big enough to be really bad yet. But seriously folks, these kids are headed for destruction. Headed for hell, I honestly feel like. I mean - if you don't feel like you have to respect or honor your parents or any other authority figures in your life, why would you feel the need to respect or honor God?? There is a REASON that the Good Lord gave us the commandment to honor our father and mother - and it is because it starts us in a lifestyle that trains us to not only love and respect others, but also to love and honor our LORD!!!
I cringe when I see a 7 year old tell her mother what to do, or call her mother a name to her face or say something so rude to her mother that MY jaw drops - and then the child gets away with it. It makes me want to cry. As Americans in general, this whole "positive reinforcement only" thing we're into right now is going to leave our nation in a BAD place when this generation of kids grows up. Whew! Positive reinforcement is a GOOD thing, and has its place, for sure! I know that some kids respond very well to PR, and don't need as much of the corrective discipline. But not every kid is the same. And I'd much rather spank my kid now when she runs out into the street so that she learns her lesson and doesn't do it again - than have her get run over by a car while running out into the street again tomorrow.
We are not training our children to be children, we are training them to be ADULTS. You cannot be successful, repsonsible, well-adjusted, a good friend or well-loved as an adult unless you learn discpline, respect, and humility AS A CHILD.
I know that I personally have babysat for families that have children that have obviously not been disciplined. Both my husband and I think it's incredibly important to discipline our kids - BECAUSE we love them. The families I saw with disobedient kids were pretty disfunctional. The kids don't have respect for ANYONE. I don't think it's EVER ok for a child to hit their parent, or vice versa for that matter. (Unless for spankings of course - but spankings should eb done when the anger has cooled and should be done in a consistent manner.) The disobedient and thoroughly disresepctful children then turn into disrespectful teenagers, who think they are entitled to whatever they want and can treat anyone in whatever way they want. It might be easier as a parent to let your young child run all over you instead of putting your foot down and disciplining - but it makes the most difference to the CHILD later on in life.
My deep thought for the day : I don't think you can ever truly learn humility without being disciplined and learning to respect others first.
Kyleigh lately is getting more angry and not knowing how to act out. I really feel like we have hit the emotional part of the terrible 2's finally. I'm going to start working harder with her on calming down and "talking nice" and such. She's been flat-out refusing to do what we're telling her to lately. She's nearly 3. She's old enough to know right from wrong, and I'm noticing that we aren't discipling her ENOUGH as her tantrums are increasing both in frequency and size. We were just letting things go, ignoring bad behavior because we were still in that "she's really too young to know she's doing something wrong" phase - but that was just OUR minds, not HERS! Haha! She's incredibly intelligent and she's learned how to push our buttons, and that when one parent is upset with her or she's in trouble, she can run to the other parent for comfort. We've been realizing this lately, and are coming together more on what's going on. For instance, tonight Kyleigh climbed on our dresser in our bedroom and was playing with Matt's guitar. He asked her to get down. She just looked at him. Then he crossed the room so that he could physically MAKE her get down, and just before he got there, she jumped down and ran in here to me crying. "I need a hug Mommy!" I refused to give her one because she was in trouble. Matt and I have decided that when she's in trouble with one parent, that parent needs to be the one to discipline, hug, and explain what's going on and why we have rules and what rules have been broken. No getting comfort from the other parent. That undermines one parent's authority and sets the stage for the "good parent/bad parent" fiasco.
Here are some things I've seen kids around me (either than I've babysat or just watched grow up) do that I will NEVER let my children do. (And if my kids DO attempt these behaviors, you'd better believe they're going to be in BIG trouble!)
1. Blatanly roll their eyes at another adult (besides parents - HAH! I expect them to do that to me! I know I did it a lot to my parents - sorry Mom and Dad!)
2. Hit/kick a parent/caregiver
3. Say something incredibly rude as a guest in someone's home : "You have a really ugly house" or something like that. (Obviously, you can't expect verbal perfection out of super young kiddos, but out of older ones, I mean!)
4. Being rude and disrespectful to adults in general
5. Be defiantly disobedient, especially to adults besides parents
For instance, the 5 year old I babysat once. Me : "Cooper, please eat just ONE bite of your corn, and then you can get down from the table." Cooper : "No. I don't want to eat it, so I don't have to." Me : "I'm sorry Cooper, those are my rules. You need to eat just ONE bite of a vegetable for dinner. All you have to do is try it once. If you don't like it, you don't have to eat any more." Cooper : "NO!" And then he loaded his spoon with corn, and LAUNCHED the whole thing at my face. Then he threw himself on the floor in a tantrum, and when I went to pick him up from his tantrum, he punched me in the face repeatedly and kicked me in the stomach until I literally faced him away from me so he couldn't reach me anymore. I was SHOCKED!!! So I put him in time-out and called the parents. The Dad told me to just let him out of time-out, that his behavior is a reaction to all the stress he's been under lately, and not to punish him. .... Ummm, EXCUSE ME??!?! Yeah, those parents paid me $100 for 7.5 hours of babysitting, and I was never called back. Not that I'd ever willingly GO back either. I guarantee you though, without radical intervention, that boy is going to be a teenager that gets whatever he wants, when he wants it. The type that has no respect for teachers, policemen, or authority figures in general. The type that feels he can force teenage girls to give him what he wants, because he has always been his own authority. It might seem harmless enough at age 5. But what about when he's 15 and weighs 150 pounds and can literally break his mother's bones when he feels like punching her in the face?? Not so harmless then.
And just for your knowledge - when I was called to babysit Cooper and his sister at that time, their mom was in the hospital having baby #3. I was the only person crazy enough to accept their offer. I had never sat for them before, and I was the only person left on our church roster babysitter list. I don't know about any of YOU - but I would NEVER leave Ky and Maezie with a complete stranger (even one who went to my church and came highly recommended, as I was!) while I was in the hospital having another baby. ... So yeah, that just gives you an idea of how bad these kids were. His sister was only about 18 months old, not big enough to be really bad yet. But seriously folks, these kids are headed for destruction. Headed for hell, I honestly feel like. I mean - if you don't feel like you have to respect or honor your parents or any other authority figures in your life, why would you feel the need to respect or honor God?? There is a REASON that the Good Lord gave us the commandment to honor our father and mother - and it is because it starts us in a lifestyle that trains us to not only love and respect others, but also to love and honor our LORD!!!
I cringe when I see a 7 year old tell her mother what to do, or call her mother a name to her face or say something so rude to her mother that MY jaw drops - and then the child gets away with it. It makes me want to cry. As Americans in general, this whole "positive reinforcement only" thing we're into right now is going to leave our nation in a BAD place when this generation of kids grows up. Whew! Positive reinforcement is a GOOD thing, and has its place, for sure! I know that some kids respond very well to PR, and don't need as much of the corrective discipline. But not every kid is the same. And I'd much rather spank my kid now when she runs out into the street so that she learns her lesson and doesn't do it again - than have her get run over by a car while running out into the street again tomorrow.
We are not training our children to be children, we are training them to be ADULTS. You cannot be successful, repsonsible, well-adjusted, a good friend or well-loved as an adult unless you learn discpline, respect, and humility AS A CHILD.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Potty Trained in Two Weeks???
I'm amazed, shocked, astounded. Kyleigh has been waking me up in the middle of the night so that she can go in the potty. She's staying dry all day, even when we're on the road, out to lunch, shopping, etc. Pretty stinking amazing. She was really ready, I guess!
For now, she's still going in her little potty. And I bought an extra little potty that sits in the back of our car so that if we're out and about and she needs to go, we can either pull over, or leave the store and come out to the car. She's still WAY too petite to fit on an adult potty without using her hands for support. And that grosses me out. So, she has a pink potty in the car, and a blue singing potty in the house.
So Hooray Kyleigh!
For now, she's still going in her little potty. And I bought an extra little potty that sits in the back of our car so that if we're out and about and she needs to go, we can either pull over, or leave the store and come out to the car. She's still WAY too petite to fit on an adult potty without using her hands for support. And that grosses me out. So, she has a pink potty in the car, and a blue singing potty in the house.
So Hooray Kyleigh!
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
DRY all day
Kyleigh has really taken to potty training FAST. So far, in three days, she's had two total accidents. One of each "kind" if you know what I mean. But now she announces, "Mommy, I need to go pee pee!" and runs toward the potty, where I help her get her pull-up or panties down and she takes care of business. She had ZERO accidents today. I didn't even have to remind her to sit down and go, she automatically told me every time she needed to. She even stayed dry while we went to the park, and during naptime. I'm sure the naptime thing was a fluke, but I'm really amazed at how quickly she's picking this up, especially considering how she would scream like she'd been slapped every time she got near the potty only a month ago. I guess the saying "when they're ready, they'll potty train themselves" is super true! I'm so proud of my little girl! (And so is our diaper budget!)
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Random Thoughts on this Early Sunday Morning
So I researched swallowing gum since it's Kyleigh's favorite treat. (Last night she sat on her little potty for about a half hour, waiting to pee in it, so that she could get a piece of gum. She knows what she wants, and is an intense little girl, like her mother, I guess.) And it's not true that it stays in your digestive system for seven years. It's an old wives' tale. You actually just pass it right out, no problem. All the components of gum EXCEPT for the gum base are totally digestible, but the gum base will just come out on the other end in a day or two. That's nice to know, considering Kyleigh has swallowed several small pieces now. I did learn a few interesting things about gum though :
*Sorbitol, and most other sweeteners, cause diarrhea.
*Cinnamon gum (my favorite, wouldn't you know it!) frequently causes irritation to the lining of your mouth, and can even cause sores or lesions.
*There is a very rare possibility of an intestinal blockage if you swallow large amounts of gum or swallow it with other "undigestibles" like coins, sunflower seed hulls, sticks, or rocks.
*It is illegal to chew gum (without a doctor's prescription for therapeutic reasons) in Singapore. Apparently they had whole streets and walls lined with gum nearly two decades ago, due to all their citizens not disposing of their chewed gum properly. They passed a law in 1992 that made chewing gum illegal. If you are caught chewing gum (even as a tourist while visiting the country) you will be thrown in jail and fined $5500 US Dollars. Yikes.
We're visiting a friend's church today. Crestview Baptist. I'm nervous (isn't that silly?) about it. I really hope that my kiddos do well in their nursery/pre-school area. It's a small church. I talked to Samantha about it. (My 9 year old neighbor girl that has been coming to Calvary Chapel with us for a year now.) I told her that I was visiting a friend's church "because they asked me to" (true, but not the whole truth, but that's ok. She's 9!) and asked if she wanted to come with me, or if she wanted me to call CC bus to come and pick her up and go there. She said, without hesistation, that she wanted to come with me. (That made me feel good.) Anyhow, so Crestview Baptist today. Sunday School at 9:30, worship at 10:45. I sure like churches that meet later. I'm NOT a morning person. Matt's good friend Brad is the worship leader there, and his wife Becky invited us. I'll be meeting her outside the building today and she'll be showing me around. Very small church, maybe about 100 members total. Things I KNOW I'm going to like about it : some old hymns, a baptismal area in the church, weekly communion, verse-by-verse Bible teaching and friends to sit with. Things I'm nervous about : my kids not liking it, Samantha not liking it, and possibly being judged by other members. (Sometimes that happens in smaller churches - I hope it doesn't happen in this one.)
I'm learning that sometimes it takes me talking to several people before I'm able to fully step back from a situation and eye it objectively. *sigh* That being said, it's much easier to find fault with someone else's actions than it is my own, until I have taken that step back and really LOOKED. So, I'm sheepishly before the throne of God today (*again* - pretty sure I'm here a lot, with the same, "Oh man, Lord, I'm sorry") to ask for forgiveness for improper behavior and not seeing my own not-exactly-right-but-not-wholly-wrong behavior in the first place. I still stand by my previous assertion that wrongdoing has taken place and needs to be rectified, but I can at least see that I didn't handle things totally properly either. *sigh* Wouldn't you know it?
Anyhow, happy Sunday folks. Hope you all have a blessed day.
*Sorbitol, and most other sweeteners, cause diarrhea.
*Cinnamon gum (my favorite, wouldn't you know it!) frequently causes irritation to the lining of your mouth, and can even cause sores or lesions.
*There is a very rare possibility of an intestinal blockage if you swallow large amounts of gum or swallow it with other "undigestibles" like coins, sunflower seed hulls, sticks, or rocks.
*It is illegal to chew gum (without a doctor's prescription for therapeutic reasons) in Singapore. Apparently they had whole streets and walls lined with gum nearly two decades ago, due to all their citizens not disposing of their chewed gum properly. They passed a law in 1992 that made chewing gum illegal. If you are caught chewing gum (even as a tourist while visiting the country) you will be thrown in jail and fined $5500 US Dollars. Yikes.
We're visiting a friend's church today. Crestview Baptist. I'm nervous (isn't that silly?) about it. I really hope that my kiddos do well in their nursery/pre-school area. It's a small church. I talked to Samantha about it. (My 9 year old neighbor girl that has been coming to Calvary Chapel with us for a year now.) I told her that I was visiting a friend's church "because they asked me to" (true, but not the whole truth, but that's ok. She's 9!) and asked if she wanted to come with me, or if she wanted me to call CC bus to come and pick her up and go there. She said, without hesistation, that she wanted to come with me. (That made me feel good.) Anyhow, so Crestview Baptist today. Sunday School at 9:30, worship at 10:45. I sure like churches that meet later. I'm NOT a morning person. Matt's good friend Brad is the worship leader there, and his wife Becky invited us. I'll be meeting her outside the building today and she'll be showing me around. Very small church, maybe about 100 members total. Things I KNOW I'm going to like about it : some old hymns, a baptismal area in the church, weekly communion, verse-by-verse Bible teaching and friends to sit with. Things I'm nervous about : my kids not liking it, Samantha not liking it, and possibly being judged by other members. (Sometimes that happens in smaller churches - I hope it doesn't happen in this one.)
I'm learning that sometimes it takes me talking to several people before I'm able to fully step back from a situation and eye it objectively. *sigh* That being said, it's much easier to find fault with someone else's actions than it is my own, until I have taken that step back and really LOOKED. So, I'm sheepishly before the throne of God today (*again* - pretty sure I'm here a lot, with the same, "Oh man, Lord, I'm sorry") to ask for forgiveness for improper behavior and not seeing my own not-exactly-right-but-not-wholly-wrong behavior in the first place. I still stand by my previous assertion that wrongdoing has taken place and needs to be rectified, but I can at least see that I didn't handle things totally properly either. *sigh* Wouldn't you know it?
Anyhow, happy Sunday folks. Hope you all have a blessed day.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Adventures in Potty Training
So ... we are crash-course potty training. It's going pretty well so far!
We have been putting Kyleigh in "big girl panties", not pull-ups. She peed in the potty twice last night (with no accidents) and then twice today (no accidents!) but she's still in diapers overnight and when we're running errands and at naptime. But she's doing well!
Her new favorite treat is gum, so she gets a half of a piece of gum when she goes in the potty. She has swallowed two of those so far, but not the other two. Have to research on the effects of gum on the toddler digestive system, I guess.
Wish us luck! I hope we get to be diaper free (with Ky anyway) in a month or less!!! :)
We have been putting Kyleigh in "big girl panties", not pull-ups. She peed in the potty twice last night (with no accidents) and then twice today (no accidents!) but she's still in diapers overnight and when we're running errands and at naptime. But she's doing well!
Her new favorite treat is gum, so she gets a half of a piece of gum when she goes in the potty. She has swallowed two of those so far, but not the other two. Have to research on the effects of gum on the toddler digestive system, I guess.
Wish us luck! I hope we get to be diaper free (with Ky anyway) in a month or less!!! :)
Popcorn in the Afternoon
So Matt has a day off today. We're just mostly relaxing today. We ran errands and went out to lunch. Then came home and everyone took a nap except for me. Maezie was the first to wake up, so I popped a bag of popcorn and she's sitting on my lap while I type this. She's sitting on my lap facing me, and I keep putting handfuls of popcorn onto her lap. She takes a few bites and then gives me a bite. A few of my bites have been a little soggy, but that's ok. Just means they're sweeter, right??
Every now and then Maezie just has to throw her head into my chest and snuggle for a few seconds. She's such a cuddlebug! :)
***
(Matt took over the computer before I was done posting this, so it's been a few hours now since I wrote that first part. Maezie's not in my lap anymore. Haha!)
Anyhow, enjoy the popcorn pictures!
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